Virgin or not to virgin?

[FYI: I'm talking about gay fiction here, at first.:D]


Well, this subject has been on my mind for some time, ever since I noticed my tendency to hit the back arrow on stories where characters are prostitutes. I'm not really a fan of prostitute stories, and I don't get its popularity (Though I have read a few). I can't really recall a trend in heterosexual romance where females were prostitutes and I'm quite sure if they were I'd gloss over them as well. I have indulged in stories with these types of characters by Ally Blue and Amanda Young, but that was because something really interested me in the storyline and I knew from the start that they were awesome authors.

So, does it matter that much: a person's sexual experience? I'd like to say no, but I am a guilty fangirl of the first timers. I could say its influenced by my own lifestyle, and maybe it is. Maybe ten years from now when(hopefully)I'm married I'll have a different perspective. Perhaps I am the victim of nearly ten years of historical romance where the damsel had to be pure as the newly fallen snow.

I think I enjoy the first time situation because I'm a hopeless romantic. Lets face it, more folks probably end up with a life partner after trial and error and hardly settle down with the man or woman who takes their virginity. But would they ever forget their first time? Even if that person was a jerk and the first time really sucked you'll probably still remember that person forever and ever. So the ultimate romance would be sticking with your first true love, right..or er..sex partner long enough for love to blossom?

Okay, maybe not.

Funnily enough, when a man has sex with women all his life and then sleeps with a man I still count him as a virgin. He's a virgin to gay sex and I still 'oh' and 'awe' at the first coming together.

In recent years, more so in heterosexual fiction, women are breaking out of their constrained roles as virgins while their male counterparts were sex gurus. I am happy about this and every now and then I'll pick up a m/f book regardless of either character's sexual experience. Though, nowadays, I read considerably far less m/f in romance then I do gay fiction.

If we authors are holding true to reality then we'd probably be able to say we know far more female virgins than male virgins (adult). Frankly, I don't know a single adult male virgin, unless somebody has been lying to me. In a world where exposure to sex is happening at far younger ages; teen pregnancy, and even contraction of STDS and fatal viruses are on the rise in some areas, keeping a boy or girl 'untried' until marriage is becoming but a glimmer on the horizon.

It never ceases to annoy me when folks arm themselves with religion to denounce gay rights because the bible 'says' it is a sin and yet no one ever talks about chastity to their children and how it is a sin to have sex out of wedlock. According to the bible their is no differentiation in sin. A murderer is just is guilty as a purse thief, but I digress.

Virgin or not to virgin? Surely we don't want to read hordes of bashful virgin men with horrible bedroom skills? Variety is the spice of life, yes? However, its called it fiction for a reason, and although some may grumble and huff--as they did when a certain --ebook that shall not be named released from Samhain--came out featuring a guy who had saved his virginity until he had a commitment from his partner, fiction is the only place where it is okay to be damn near perfect. Sure it may not be realistic for handsome twenty-three year old John to never have laid down with man when he's gay, but damn it, if nobody has written about a 220lb, five foot six inch man with a receding hairline in romance/erotica yet getting his happy ending, then I say let the fantasy be a fantasy. And give me my damn first-timer. :P

Now, having said all that I'd like to make it clear that I do not refuse to buy gay fiction books based on a character's sexual experience. Most of the ebooks I buy, you can't tell what is what until you start reading. I just think the V is an extra bonus, at least it is to me.

New website is up!

Finally, my domain transfer kicked in yesterday so I am back in action. Sorry if you tried to visit my website and got the 'This account has been suspended message'. All is well now. I've subscribed to webs.com, which is 10x easier to handle than c-panel on host sites. I will miss my cowboys though, but I will be having a more professional layout done soon. You can still find me at sagewhistler.net

Website is temporarily down!

If you've made it over to this blog you might have just come from my website which is down at the moment. Yes, I know it is no longer online and yes, I let it go on purpose. I am currently in the process of finding a new website provider and redecorating my website. Both should be accomplished within a week. Meanwhile, if anyone would like to get into contact with me you can reach me at sagewhistler@gmail.com.

Thanks for your patience, folks.

Yaoi and Me

I'm the new kid on the block when it comes to reading Yaoi. I can't really recall what made me start reading it a second time. The first time I read yaoi was about a year and a half ago, and my attempt was not successful. As a matter of fact I purchased the manga and was so disappointed I contemplated heading back to the bookstore to get my money back. (A thing I have never done before, and didn't end up doing then). So the yaoi manga got tucked in amongst Stephen King's and Laurell K Hamiliton's collections. I dusted off my hands and called it a bust. Yaoi manga wasn't for me. The manga I had chosen was so sweet it gave me a headache and the sex did not deliver. IMHO. I'm all ruined from writing erotica, so I like my stuff explicit.




Anyway, only about three weeks ago I decided to try it again. I can't recall what made me start reading. I just know I ran across this fantastic site with a promising storyline and I started reading my eyes out. Scantalations made it possible for me to devour yaoi to my hearts content. I made sure to purchase some of my favorite reads if they were available on Amazon because I feel it's important to support your favorite artists.

I've learned quite a lot about Japanese culture while reading yaoi manga. Terms like bishie, uke, seme; distinguishing honorifics for your elders, superiors, strangers, and family members. I've picked up a few Japanese words along the way, and thanks to the way mangas are drawn I've developed the habit of reading from left to right, even when I'm not reading manga.

Now, if you have never read yaoi or adult manga(non-yaoi manga), period, you should know two things straight off the bat. You have to be able to get past the fact that some of these ukes and semes will not be 18yrs or older, and even those who are professed twenty-somethings still sometimes look like kids. It is the nature of the genre.I believe that you are not considered an adult in Japan until you are twenty, so even if the main characters are eighteen, technically, in Japan, they are still teenagers.

Secondly, if the idea of noncon and dubious consent squicks you out than yaoi probably is not for you. Now, that is not to say yaoi readers support noncon and dc, but we have the ability to see it as the fiction (in some people's case, the fantasy) that it is. It helps that these are drawings and not real folks.

Well, if you can accept those two (society taboos) then I think you can get down to the business of enjoying yaoi, like I did.


Fair warning: It is highly addictive, and may be the cause of a delinquent muse. :p

Favorites of November 2009

Books
Yaoi Time:
1. Heart Strings by Akira Norikazu (manga)
2. Under Grand Hotel by Sadahairo Mika (manga)
3. Sleeping With Money by Barbara Katagiri (yaoi novel)
4.Temptation Recipe by Narazaki Souta (manga)

Movies
1. Precious
2. Australia
3.From Dusk Til Dawn
4. Bride Wars

TV
1. Martin
2. Iron Man
3. Mystery Diagnosis
4. Snapped

Music
1.Dare You to Move performed by Switchfoot
2.Morning has Broken performed by Cat Stevens
3.Ava Maria performed by Pavarotti
4.Swing Low performed by Rocco Deluca and The Burden

Favorites of October 2009

Books
1. Going Deep by G.A. Hauser
2. The Way of Shadows by Brent Weeks
3. Shadow's Edge by Brent Weeks
4. Handyman by Claire Thompson (again)

TV
1.Snapped
2.Wildest Police Videos
3.Women of Broward County
4.I'm Alive

Movie
1.Lakeview Terrace
2.White Oleander
3.Pan's Labyrinth
4.From Dust Til Dawn



Music
1.Stuttering performed by Ben's Brother
2.Ricki Don't Lose That Number performed by Steely Dan
3.This is Halloween performed by Marilyn Manson
4.Lilac Wine performed by Jeff Buckley

The Little Engine That Couldn't

After a long hard debate, a miraculous effort on my part to be patient and understanding, I have come to the end of my rope and will be silent no longer about the train wreck that is Cacoethes Publishing.

First, let me say I have all the respect in the world for the bold upstarters of ebook companies. It takes a lot of courage, hard work, dedication, and insight into the publishing market and its readers. There are a lot of fly-by-night companies that have to close their door almost as soon as they open. Dreaming is nice, but you have to have a plan. Cacoethes was built on sandcastles and fluffy clouds. It was too hollow to hold up under the pressure and now the CEO won't even own up to the dream that turned into a nightmare.

I say it is a nightmare because what else could you call such unprofessional behavior? In the following list I will break down the things that have gone on in this company since signing my contract.

1. The first sign I naively ignored was bad editors. Back in 2007 they hired a woman who helped me edit my first book Torn. If anyone has ever read Torn they may find it an enjoyable read, but it is littered with grammar and continuity issues that should have been caught in the editing process. I even had to go back and have books pulled off the virtual shelves to have more editing done. What you are seeing is 'actually' vastly improved.

2. Firing and Hiring. The CEO, Denise Mosely, has gone through at least four personal assistants, who knows how many editors,two bookeepers(as far as I know) and even about three web masters.I have had a different editor--fresh off the hiring block--for all four of my releases with them.

3. Late issues. Cacoethes has never been on time with book releases, sales reports, or payments. As a matter of fact they owe me about four or five checks if not more right now. Cac has also been late in delivering orders on paperbacks for customers and authors who had book signings. I never would do a book signing as a author for them for this very reason.

4. Hidden Fees. Cacoethes released a notice to all their authors almost a year after they opened their doors to tell us about these new fees that would come out of our paychecks.(Our nonexistent paychecks)

5. Site upkeep. Take a look for yourself at the poorly organized site(The banner at the top is a St. Patrick's banner.They used it in March, but now they just turned it gray and white and posted it again.) There used to be author bios but I don't know what happened to them. There used to be a guest book but the customers and authors posted so many complaints on it that they had it removed.

6. Cac used to have a (virtual) magazine called Lotic back in 2007 and early 2008 but the magazine only had about four issues. I suspect it was too costly for them to keep up. I won't begrudge them the fact that the few issues they released were pretty nicely done, if as poorly edited as their books, but having a outdated magazine on their site about six months after its release did not make us look professional at all.

7. No customer service. I cannot tell you how many customers emailed me about not being able to get in touch with anyone when they did not receive their orders or they could not navigate the site well. I usually pointed them in the All Romance Ebooks direction--who also distribute my ebooks.

8. Inconsistency. At first Cac had a model for book prices according to their length which they NEVER stuck by. However, the prices have become more outrageous--jacked up by fifty cents to a dollar or lowered by the same degree. There is no ryhme or reason for what they are doing. They notify no one about their changes.


With all this said I ask that any readers of my books do not hand another dollar to this company. I cannot ask for other authors because I don't know if they are getting paid. I'M NOT GETTING PAID! Cacoethes has a sale going on for $2 right now on EVERY book, no matter how long or short. Folks are calling it a firesale and maybe it is, but I urge you to not pay them a single dime of your hardearned money. I do not begrudge you readers who have already purchased my books any of your enjoyment. I thank you for your support and appreciate every one of you. You can expect to see me under honest and reputable publishers from now on. I'm over at Total-E-Bound if you need to find me.

Me and Cac are through.

You can also find out more about how bad it is over a Cac on Writer's Beware.