Friday, May 15, 2009

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Survey Says


If you've been following my posts for at least a little while you know I have a wicked sense of humor. What's strange is that it doesn't really come across in my writing. At least I don't think it does. O_o So I took this survey, which I think is like ten times cooler than the regular author information dump. You are now about to peak into the inner workings of my brain. Not literally of course cuz that would just be squishy and gross. lol.

A
- Available: In what sense you perv?
- Age: A lady never tells that she is 23...dayum.
- Annoyance: smacking when eating food.
- Animal: Dog to bite the hell out of the person smacking when eating food.
B
- Beer: Di-scuss-der-ing
- Best Friend: Mom. No, seriously.
- Blind or Deaf: Deaf.
- Best weather: Fall. Not too hot or cold.
- Been in Love:NOPE
- Believe in Magic: See above
- Believe in Santa: See above twice.

C
- Candy:Anything with nuts...I mean uh snickers.
- Color: Blue
- Chocolate/Vanilla: Vanilla
- Chinese/Mexican Food: Chinese. Last Mexican I had sent me running for the border.
- Cake or pie: Both. Mmmm...
- Continent to visit: Asia
- Cheese: If its not moldy I can get it down

D
- Day or Night: Night
- Dancing in the rain: What the hell for?

E
- Eyes: Brown
- Everyone's got: a secret.
- Ever had a crush on a teacher: Sadly, yes.

F
- First thoughts waking up: where did my pillow go?
- Food: meat loaf (mom's tho)
- Greatest Fear: Not finding out what I'm here for.
- Goals: Be Happy!
- Gum: Trident
- Get along with your parents: Mom, yes.

H
- Hair Color: Brownish red.
- Height: 5'7''
- Happy: Nevah
- Holiday: No work and school day.
- How do you want to die: Tapdancing.

I
- Ice Cream: Chocolate chip cookie dough.
- Instrument: Play button.

J
- Jewelry: Will have ring as soon as I go to Walmart.
- Job: Counselor for the ornery.

K
- Kids: I'll get back to you on that, Bob.
- Kickboxing or karate: Gun and bullets?
- Keep a journal: Nah
L
- Love: Fam
- Laughed so hard you cried: Lewis Black for Prez 2016 after Obama reinstates

M
- Milk flavor: All flavors except spoiled.
- Movies: Troy, Man in the Iron Mask, No Country for Old Men, Hancock, Predator
- McD’s or BK: McCrackies

N
- Number: 7

O
- One wish: endless supply of stories I like to read.

P
- Pepsi/Coke: Both.
- Perfect Pizza: Plain cheese. Toppings for the birds.

Q
- Quail: Cheney ruined it for me.

R
- Reality T.V.: Over it already.
- Radio Station: Insert CD.

- Roll your tongue in a circle: I can. We did this experiment in a science class of mine, studying heredity.

S
- Song: Momma Told Me (Not to Come)--Three Dog Night
- Shoe size: 10 women 8.5 Men ( I only buy men sneakers)
- Salad Dressing: Ranch
- Sushi:I pity the FEWL that doesn't cook my damn fish.
- Shower: Like the newspaper: daily.
- Strawberries/Blueberries: Throw em together.

T
- Tattoos: One on my shoulder.
- Time for bed: Late
- Thunderstorms: What in the HELL happened to the cable?

U
- Unpredictable: the economy

V
- Vacation spot(s): Anywhere but here.

W
- Weakness: Books
- Which one of your friends acts the most like you: Nobody I'm a snowflake.
- Worst Weather: Come to CT

X
- X-Rays: On shoulder.

Y
-Year it is now: Year of the Ox. I'm an Ox.
-Yellow: Mountain dew is good.

Z
- Zoo animal: Hamsters.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Broken




This is my latest story accepted for publication by Total-E-Bound. Projected release is September 2009.


Identical twins Gabriel and Tristan have been apart for seven years, after one twin’s admission of being gay gets him kicked out of the house at seventeen. Leaving his brother behind was one of the hardest things Gabriel has ever had to do. Moving to L.A. to pursue his dreams as a rockstar, Gabriel experiences equal parts luck by starting the up and coming band Thrice Broken, and tragedy, when he falls into the fast and hard life of a drug addict.

Hundreds of miles away, Tristan, riddled with guilt for not having the courage to stand up for his brother, runs into financial ruin just at the peak of his success.

Driven by his desire to look after his younger brother, Gabriel cleans up his lifestyle and separates himself from the man who helped lead him astray. Having achieved his dreams of fame and financial stability, Gabriel calls his brother to L.A. to stay with him until he can get back on his feet.

Yet seven years of pain and regret lie between them, as well as the taboo desire for a love that shouldn’t be. Both brothers know this will be a test of strength and will. Not only is their love forbidden, but being discovered could ruin Gabriel’s public image forever. But their love for each other is only the tip of the iceberg. Tristan will be torn in his loyalty to his brother yet again when their father passes and their mother wants him to move back home. Meanwhile, the ex Gabriel thought he’d cut all ties with nearly a year ago is back, and he’s gunning for revenge. He wants to take out Gabriel’s heart, and it doesn’t take long to discover that Tristan is it.

Friday, May 8, 2009

Favorites of May 2009


Books
1. Bullriders by Lorne Rodman
2. Hajiri's Pet by Auburnimp and Michael Barnette
2. Private Dicks by Katie Allen
4.Turquoise by BA Tortuga

Movies
1. Monster House
2. Ratatouille
3. Xmen:Origins
4. Me, Myself, and Irene

TV
1. Meerkat Manor
2. Night
3. River Monsters
4. Jon and Kate Plus Eight

Music
1. Wavin' Flag performed by K'naan
2. Soobax performed by K'Naan
3. Dare You to Move performed by Switchfoot
4. Won't Stop performed by OneRepublic

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Divine Nine


Hamlet:
What a piece of work is a man, how noble in reason, how
infinite in faculties, in form and moving how express and
admirable, in action how like an angel, in apprehension how like
a god! the beauty of the world, the paragon of animals—and yet,
to me, what is this quintessence of dust? Man delights not me—
nor woman neither, though by your smiling you seem to say so.~Shakespeare~

Divine Nine

So what’s up with the quote at the beginning of this post. Nothing, I just thought it was nice. Loves me some Hamlet. No but seriously I’m here to talk about heroes. Not just any heroes, but the ones you find in romance. You see I’ve come up with a list of nine men you might find when cracking open a romance(come to think of it you might find these men in LIFE in general). Why not women? Well, maybe that will be my next post. I’m here to present nine different heroes. That’s right, I believe there are nine. If you think there are more, well tell me about it. They may come in different shapes, sizes, and colors but at the heart of the matter they make up the divine nine.

1. Mr. Wonderful
2. Mr. Badass
3. Mr. Confused
4. Mr. Shy
5. Mr. Caveman
6. Mr. Pincushion
7. Mr. Evol
8. Mr. TSTL
9. Mr. E

Mr. Wonderful

I will start with Mr. Wonderful. You may see him most often in the romance genre. He is perfect. He is handsome, available, muscled, educated, well-spoken. *insert sigh here* Oddly enough I find this guy the least bit interesting. Where are his flaws? Someone find a pimple on his ass or something. You know how his story will go. He’ll meet the girl, put on his charm, snag her, bag her, and nine months later she’s preggo. The End. Good riddance.

Occupational hazard: Lawyer, doctor, dentist, veterinarian, CEO

Mr. Badass

*insert evil grin here* I like him. *pats head* Mr. Badass is probably still handsome, intelligent, available, OR he might be banging his next door neighbor, the girl at Rite Mart, AND the ticket ripper at the local theater. He’s going to get into trouble. He’s going to curse. He’s going to growl and complain and roll his eyes and maybe hurt your feelings. He’ll be selfish (a little). He’s the do-things-his-way (which usually means breaking rules) hero. He’ll find the girl, sleep with her sister, apologize and put on some Berry White. Snag her. Bag her. And shove some birth control pills in her hand. Hey, he’s not done riding his Harley and he’ll be damned if he’s driving a minivan with a baby car seat just now. AnyHOO at the end of the day Mr.Badass does the right thing.

Occupational Hazard: Tattoo Artist, Construction Worker, Bartender, Repair Shop Owner, Professional Jewelry Thief





Mr. Confused

He doesn’t know whether he’s coming or going. He doesn’t know if he wants to be married or remain a bachelor. He can’t even remember where he left his briefcase this morning. Mr. Confused is probably handsome. (Aren’t they all?). He’s working a boring nine-to-five until he figures out what he wants to do with his life. Mr. Confused might even be that guy who dates women when he really is attracted to men. We see that a lot in gay fiction. He doesn’t want to be ostracized by the public but his heart just isn’t into the fairer sex. You will most likely have your heart wrenched for Mr. Confused. He goes through a lot of trials and tribulations before he ends up with Mr or Mrs. Right.

Occupational Hazard: Office assistant, Clerk, College Kid, Photographer





Mr. Shy

“He blushed. His cheeks flushed. He ducked his head. His hand trembled. He dropped his keys and then kicked them under the car. He was nervous. His stomach flip-flopped.” What are these, you ask? Well, these are all reading cues that let you know you are dealing with Mr. Shy. He’s a very popular hero to use in gay fiction. Hell, I like to use him myself. Most het fiction won’t use a guy like this because, well, Mr. Badass or Mr. Wonderful and even Mr. Cavemen are hotter when it comes to heating up ze bedroom. Mr. Shy might also be a geek, whipcord thin, maybe even effeminate or androgynous. He’ll get the girl. (by accident) or he’ll get the guy, because the guy will be pursuing him.

Occupational Hazard: Artist, Computer Techie, College Student, Engineer

matthias

Mr. Caveman

Meet Crug. He’s one step away from bopping you on the head and dragging you off to his cave. You love to hate this guy, and though you’re sure the heroine should shoot him in the leg, you still *swoon* when he tells her she’s his woman. Mr. Caveman is a combination of Mr. Wonderful (smart, handsome, successful, muscular) but he has all the characteristics of Mr. Badass. (Dominant, smug, bossy) He just gets away with it because he’s handsome. Mr. Crug…I mean, Mr. Caveman will have his happily ever after because his super sperm will get Mrs. Caveman pregnant and they’ll live happily ever after.

Occupational Hazard: Caveman, Soldier, Firefighter, CEO, Inherited Wealth (Secretive business)

Mr. Pincushion

Hey, can I have twenty bucks? Yeah, this guy will give you his last two cents. He’s the caretaker who inadvertently became everyone’s walking mat. He thinks everyone is his friend. He’s a handsome, likeable guy, OR he might just be average looking but intelligent or wealthy. You feel so bad for Mr. Pincushion but on the other hand you want to smack the hell out of him and tell him to grow a spine. Mr. Pin will eventually find his happily ever after. It could be with Mrs. Right or Mrs. Loving, OR a Dom named Jackal who beats the snot out of all the people taking advantage of him.

Occupational Hazard: Accountant, Doctor, Teacher, Musician, Inherited Wealth, Manager, Store Owner, Scientist

hunk_zwartwit









Mr. Evol

He’s not a hero! Course not. He’s not like Mr. Badass at all. He’ll steal lollipops from babies and push little old ladies to the back of the line. He’s handsome (You knew that was coming) with higher than average intelligence (how else do you think he avoided the police) Mr. Evol is selfish, greedy, stubborn, and seemingly unstoppable. He’s also VERY rare as a protagonist. Who’ll ever love this black-hearted scoundrel? Well, apparently, there is such a thing as redemption. There is always a loophole that wins Mr. Evol into the hearts of others. Take Robin Hood for example: He stole from the rich and gave to the poor. Hey, but he wasn’t evil you say to yourself, right? Right. That’s why I spelled it Evol, its short for Evolution. Yeah, I just made that up. Mr. Evol goes through an evolution in the book. He starts off being a selfish black-hearted scoundrel (I really love that phrase) but he ends up changing his ways. Maybe he gives the fat ruby he stole to an orphanage. It usually takes the stubborn will of a good-hearted heroine OR hero to help him change his ways. On the rare occasion Mr. Evol goes from good to bad. Either way this character is evolutionary and bound for a happy ending—or, some time in prison. *shrugs*

Occupational Hazard: Thief, Drug-Lord, Kingpin, Assassin, Pirate, Mercenary









Mr. TSTL (too stupid to live)

Burn this after reading. That’s what Mr. TSTL makes you want to do to your book. If he were a hero he’d be the one who showed up to rescue the woman in the burning building after she’d thrown a mattress out the window and rescued herself. If the answer is obvious Mr. TSTL will never comprehend it. He’s prone to misunderstandings. He whines. He does a lot of introspection and still comes up with a big fat nothing. Mr.TSTL pisses the heroine or hero off with his sheer stupidity and thoughtlessness. To be fair he isn’t a bad guy, just not the brightest light bulb in the bunch. By some freak of nature he gets a HFN or a HEA. You’ll probably care less though.

Occupational Hazard: In the interest of being diplomatic I won’t fill in an occupation here.





Mr. E

Holy Cow! I’m almost done. Mr. E is a ‘mystery’ you get it? J (I was tired when I wrote this. Don’t blame me) Anyway, Mr. E is not someone you’d expect. He’s not the typical hero. He might be overweight, handicapped, or a freaking shapeshifter. Mr. E is here to shake things up. He’ll never do what you expect of him. He’s a wicked combination of almost all the Misters I’ve mentioned so far. If Mr. E was a superhero he’d probably be the antihero turned hero, turned antihero again. Mr. E’s job is to be mysterious and standoffish. He’s the man you want to know more about. He’s the one the town calls a murderer when in reality his best friend died in a car accident. Contrary to popular belief, Mr. E did not strangle him to death. Mr. E might be a killer on the gossip mills but later you find out he’s a retired veterinarian that still takes in animals. Mr. E might also be a mountain man who’s gruff on the outside, but has a heart of gold. If Mr. E finds Mr. or Mrs. Right it isn’t because he went out looking. His other half will have to come to him.

Occupational Hazard: It’s a Mr. E. (You SO knew I was gonna say that.)