Friday, December 11, 2009

Believe It or Not


Have you ever read a book that made you read a sentence over and over and over and over again because you just can't believe that you just read what you just read?! I never have, until today. Well actually, I cracked open this file last night and started to read, but I was too tired to continue. So today I started anew. And let me just tell you, before I jump into my rant, that I haven't even finished the story yet. I'm not far off, but I have fear and 'hope' for the ending.

You can find this ebook, Alive On the Inside, at Amber Quill Press. I was written by Naomi Brooks and Angelia Sparrow. I've read their works before and enjoyed them, plus, I'm not squeamish, and I can go for some unconventional lovemaking/characters. HOWEVER, *big sigh*, I don't think the warning adequately covers what you can expect in this story. Below I've included the warning.


This book contains graphic violence, hardcore bondage and punishment, torture and blood play. May not be suitable for the more sensitive reader.
(I also think this warning won't adequately convey what to expect because it has been used so frivolously in novels that don't even come near the level of violence and graphic detail of this novel.I've written bloody scenes myself, decapitation, implosion, explosions, and maiming. However, I don't think all that effects us when it happens in battle-scenes or as punishment. Battle we can understand. Punishment we can undestand, but pain at this level for the sake of pleasure? Well, that's just downright disturbing, eh?)

I'll leave that up to you daring readers to decide.

What they don't tell you are that there are some heavy religious issues faced in this story. As a matter of fact, a large portion of the story focuses on faith, belief in God, damnation, sodomy and the like. I think they should have included that in the warning as well. Anyhow, the story is quite unique. The writing is exceptional. The idea original. The execution's what horrified me. The main characters work for the Phantasmagoria: a circus that moves from town to town using the railroads to travel. The Phantasmagoria has been around, as the books says, forever, in one form or another. Its highly paranormal; the entire act is run on magic and mystery, fueled by the blood of the innocent and the souls of the guileless. But the guiltless murdering of innocent people isn't what horrified me either. After all, I am a huge horror fan, and I expected some sophisticated explanation of it all and in the end a redemption of some sort.

What GOT ME was the show itself. Of course I've seen movies about freaks and read up on all manner of disturbing scenarios but surely some of the horrifying acts, described in gory detail made even me--who does not have a penis-- shrivel up and die. I mean if I had a penis I would baby it for like three months after reading this. I would check every hour of the day to make sure it was still there. The acts performed by the characters during their performance made me a little queasy sometimes. If you have an imagination anything like mine and you decide to read this book, then perhaps you will know something of what I speak.

SPOILERS AHEAD! YOU'VE BEEN WARNED.

Expect everything you've seen in movies about freakshows/circuses like bearded women, Siamese twins, wicked clowns and deformed dwarves--freaks as they call them. Also expect these freaks to have sex, and expect a front-row seat. Expect dildos with spikes,cutting as entertainment, some character abuse.

As for the horror, one example that comes to mind is when Torturo, The Pain King, and MC of Alive on the Inside roasted his penis in a fire, stuck a fork in it, and tricked a man to bite into it to see that it was real. It was, and the guy bit the tip off. I almost died. I really did. The guy BIT OFF roasted penis.

Well, I don't want to offer up anymore spoilers. There are plenty more delights in the story. I'm off to finish reading this baby! I tip my hat to the two authors. They have balls--balls the size of basketballs. I hardly ever feel the compulsion to dissect a read, to share, or spoil any details of its offering, but I must say this one touched me deeply in a place I won't soon forget.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

The Saddest Smile I've Ever Seen


Today I stumbled across some old poetry I wrote back in 2007 while I was in college. I went through a period of deep depression while being separated from my folks for the first time, and I really was not enjoying the campus life. Writing poetry, which is something I rarely do, provided both an outlet for my frustration and relief from boredom. While poetry is far from my strongest point, this poem in particular really resonated with me and still does.

You possess the saddest smile I've ever seen.
Must have been through many a things.
Your eyes are so sad, makes a person wonder if you were ever glad.
Must have been something you lost, you thought you had.

You possess the saddest smile I've ever seen.
Your tears could make the angels sing.
Broke your body right down to the spleen,
Invisible blood? What do you mean?

You possess the saddest smile I've ever seen,
Don't think you appreciate anything.
How long its been since you saw the color green?
Laid down in a bed of flowers in the spring?
Colored a flower blue and green?
Dropped a coin in a wishing well?
Tilted your head back in the rain and yelled?
Bought an apple pie just because of the smell?


You possess the saddest smile I've ever seen,
Must have been through many a things,
Your eyes are so sad, makes a person wonder if you were ever glad,
must have been something you lost, you thought you had.

Monday, December 7, 2009

Favorites of December 2009


Books

1.Wanting by M.L. Rhodes
2.Unnecessary Roughness by G.A. Hauser
3.Wings by J.C. Owens
4.Just For You by Jet Mykles

Movies
1.No Country for Old Men
2.The Fifth Element
3.Blade Trinity
4.Ninja Assassin

TV
1.Baby Story
2.Cake Boss
3.I'm Alive
4.The Mighty B

Music
1.How to Save a Life performed by The Fray
2.You Know I'm no Good performed by Amy Winehouse
3.Con Te Partiro performed by Andrea Bocelli
4.Red Sky performed by Thrice

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Virgin or not to virgin?





[FYI: I'm talking about gay fiction here, at first.:D]


Well, this subject has been on my mind for some time, ever since I noticed my tendency to hit the back arrow on stories where characters are prostitutes. I'm not really a fan of prostitute stories, and I don't get its popularity (Though I have read a few). I can't really recall a trend in heterosexual romance where females were prostitutes and I'm quite sure if they were I'd gloss over them as well. I have indulged in stories with these types of characters by Ally Blue and Amanda Young, but that was because something really interested me in the storyline and I knew from the start that they were awesome authors.

So, does it matter that much: a person's sexual experience? I'd like to say no, but I am a guilty fangirl of the first timers. I could say its influenced by my own lifestyle, and maybe it is. Maybe ten years from now when(hopefully)I'm married I'll have a different perspective. Perhaps I am the victim of nearly ten years of historical romance where the damsel had to be pure as the newly fallen snow.

I think I enjoy the first time situation because I'm a hopeless romantic. Lets face it, more folks probably end up with a life partner after trial and error and hardly settle down with the man or woman who takes their virginity. But would they ever forget their first time? Even if that person was a jerk and the first time really sucked you'll probably still remember that person forever and ever. So the ultimate romance would be sticking with your first true love, right..or er..sex partner long enough for love to blossom?

Okay, maybe not.

Funnily enough, when a man has sex with women all his life and then sleeps with a man I still count him as a virgin. He's a virgin to gay sex and I still 'oh' and 'awe' at the first coming together.

In recent years, more so in heterosexual fiction, women are breaking out of their constrained roles as virgins while their male counterparts were sex gurus. I am happy about this and every now and then I'll pick up a m/f book regardless of either character's sexual experience. Though, nowadays, I read considerably far less m/f in romance then I do gay fiction.

If we authors are holding true to reality then we'd probably be able to say we know far more female virgins than male virgins (adult). Frankly, I don't know a single adult male virgin, unless somebody has been lying to me. In a world where exposure to sex is happening at far younger ages; teen pregnancy, and even contraction of STDS and fatal viruses are on the rise in some areas, keeping a boy or girl 'untried' until marriage is becoming but a glimmer on the horizon.

It never ceases to annoy me when folks arm themselves with religion to denounce gay rights because the bible 'says' it is a sin and yet no one ever talks about chastity to their children and how it is a sin to have sex out of wedlock. According to the bible their is no differentiation in sin. A murderer is just is guilty as a purse thief, but I digress.

Virgin or not to virgin? Surely we don't want to read hordes of bashful virgin men with horrible bedroom skills? Variety is the spice of life, yes? However, its called it fiction for a reason, and although some may grumble and huff--as they did when a certain --ebook that shall not be named released from Samhain--came out featuring a guy who had saved his virginity until he had a commitment from his partner, fiction is the only place where it is okay to be damn near perfect. Sure it may not be realistic for handsome twenty-three year old John to never have laid down with man when he's gay, but damn it, if nobody has written about a 220lb, five foot six inch man with a receding hairline in romance/erotica yet getting his happy ending, then I say let the fantasy be a fantasy. And give me my damn first-timer. :P

Now, having said all that I'd like to make it clear that I do not refuse to buy gay fiction books based on a character's sexual experience. Most of the ebooks I buy, you can't tell what is what until you start reading. I just think the V is an extra bonus, at least it is to me.

Friday, December 4, 2009

New website is up!

Finally, my domain transfer kicked in yesterday so I am back in action. Sorry if you tried to visit my website and got the 'This account has been suspended message'. All is well now. I've subscribed to webs.com, which is 10x easier to handle than c-panel on host sites. I will miss my cowboys though, but I will be having a more professional layout done soon. You can still find me at sagewhistler.net

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Website is temporarily down!


If you've made it over to this blog you might have just come from my website which is down at the moment. Yes, I know it is no longer online and yes, I let it go on purpose. I am currently in the process of finding a new website provider and redecorating my website. Both should be accomplished within a week. Meanwhile, if anyone would like to get into contact with me you can reach me at sagewhistler@gmail.com.

Thanks for your patience, folks.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Yaoi and Me




I'm the new kid on the block when it comes to reading Yaoi. I can't really recall what made me start reading it a second time. The first time I read yaoi was about a year and a half ago, and my attempt was not successful. As a matter of fact I purchased the manga and was so disappointed I contemplated heading back to the bookstore to get my money back. (A thing I have never done before, and didn't end up doing then). So the yaoi manga got tucked in amongst Stephen King's and Laurell K Hamiliton's collections. I dusted off my hands and called it a bust. Yaoi manga wasn't for me. The manga I had chosen was so sweet it gave me a headache and the sex did not deliver. IMHO. I'm all ruined from writing erotica, so I like my stuff explicit.




Anyway, only about three weeks ago I decided to try it again. I can't recall what made me start reading. I just know I ran across this fantastic site with a promising storyline and I started reading my eyes out. Scantalations made it possible for me to devour yaoi to my hearts content. I made sure to purchase some of my favorite reads if they were available on Amazon because I feel it's important to support your favorite artists.

I've learned quite a lot about Japanese culture while reading yaoi manga. Terms like bishie, uke, seme; distinguishing honorifics for your elders, superiors, strangers, and family members. I've picked up a few Japanese words along the way, and thanks to the way mangas are drawn I've developed the habit of reading from left to right, even when I'm not reading manga.

Now, if you have never read yaoi or adult manga(non-yaoi manga), period, you should know two things straight off the bat. You have to be able to get past the fact that some of these ukes and semes will not be 18yrs or older, and even those who are professed twenty-somethings still sometimes look like kids. It is the nature of the genre.I believe that you are not considered an adult in Japan until you are twenty, so even if the main characters are eighteen, technically, in Japan, they are still teenagers.

Secondly, if the idea of noncon and dubious consent squicks you out than yaoi probably is not for you. Now, that is not to say yaoi readers support noncon and dc, but we have the ability to see it as the fiction (in some people's case, the fantasy) that it is. It helps that these are drawings and not real folks.

Well, if you can accept those two (society taboos) then I think you can get down to the business of enjoying yaoi, like I did.


Fair warning: It is highly addictive, and may be the cause of a delinquent muse. :p

Favorites of November 2009





Books
Yaoi Time:
1. Heart Strings by Akira Norikazu (manga)
2. Under Grand Hotel by Sadahairo Mika (manga)
3. Sleeping With Money by Barbara Katagiri (yaoi novel)
4.Temptation Recipe by Narazaki Souta (manga)

Movies
1. Precious
2. Australia
3.From Dusk Til Dawn
4. Bride Wars

TV
1. Martin
2. Iron Man
3. Mystery Diagnosis
4. Snapped

Music
1.Dare You to Move performed by Switchfoot
2.Morning has Broken performed by Cat Stevens
3.Ava Maria performed by Pavarotti
4.Swing Low performed by Rocco Deluca and The Burden

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Favorites of October 2009



Books
1. Going Deep by G.A. Hauser
2. The Way of Shadows by Brent Weeks
3. Shadow's Edge by Brent Weeks
4. Handyman by Claire Thompson (again)

TV
1.Snapped
2.Wildest Police Videos
3.Women of Broward County
4.I'm Alive

Movie
1.Lakeview Terrace
2.White Oleander
3.Pan's Labyrinth
4.From Dust Til Dawn



Music
1.Stuttering performed by Ben's Brother
2.Ricki Don't Lose That Number performed by Steely Dan
3.This is Halloween performed by Marilyn Manson
4.Lilac Wine performed by Jeff Buckley

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

The Little Engine That Couldn't


After a long hard debate, a miraculous effort on my part to be patient and understanding, I have come to the end of my rope and will be silent no longer about the train wreck that is Cacoethes Publishing.

First, let me say I have all the respect in the world for the bold upstarters of ebook companies. It takes a lot of courage, hard work, dedication, and insight into the publishing market and its readers. There are a lot of fly-by-night companies that have to close their door almost as soon as they open. Dreaming is nice, but you have to have a plan. Cacoethes was built on sandcastles and fluffy clouds. It was too hollow to hold up under the pressure and now the CEO won't even own up to the dream that turned into a nightmare.

I say it is a nightmare because what else could you call such unprofessional behavior? In the following list I will break down the things that have gone on in this company since signing my contract.

1. The first sign I naively ignored was bad editors. Back in 2007 they hired a woman who helped me edit my first book Torn. If anyone has ever read Torn they may find it an enjoyable read, but it is littered with grammar and continuity issues that should have been caught in the editing process. I even had to go back and have books pulled off the virtual shelves to have more editing done. What you are seeing is 'actually' vastly improved.

2. Firing and Hiring. The CEO, Denise Mosely, has gone through at least four personal assistants, who knows how many editors,two bookeepers(as far as I know) and even about three web masters.I have had a different editor--fresh off the hiring block--for all four of my releases with them.

3. Late issues. Cacoethes has never been on time with book releases, sales reports, or payments. As a matter of fact they owe me about four or five checks if not more right now. Cac has also been late in delivering orders on paperbacks for customers and authors who had book signings. I never would do a book signing as a author for them for this very reason.

4. Hidden Fees. Cacoethes released a notice to all their authors almost a year after they opened their doors to tell us about these new fees that would come out of our paychecks.(Our nonexistent paychecks)

5. Site upkeep. Take a look for yourself at the poorly organized site(The banner at the top is a St. Patrick's banner.They used it in March, but now they just turned it gray and white and posted it again.) There used to be author bios but I don't know what happened to them. There used to be a guest book but the customers and authors posted so many complaints on it that they had it removed.

6. Cac used to have a (virtual) magazine called Lotic back in 2007 and early 2008 but the magazine only had about four issues. I suspect it was too costly for them to keep up. I won't begrudge them the fact that the few issues they released were pretty nicely done, if as poorly edited as their books, but having a outdated magazine on their site about six months after its release did not make us look professional at all.

7. No customer service. I cannot tell you how many customers emailed me about not being able to get in touch with anyone when they did not receive their orders or they could not navigate the site well. I usually pointed them in the All Romance Ebooks direction--who also distribute my ebooks.

8. Inconsistency. At first Cac had a model for book prices according to their length which they NEVER stuck by. However, the prices have become more outrageous--jacked up by fifty cents to a dollar or lowered by the same degree. There is no ryhme or reason for what they are doing. They notify no one about their changes.


With all this said I ask that any readers of my books do not hand another dollar to this company. I cannot ask for other authors because I don't know if they are getting paid. I'M NOT GETTING PAID! Cacoethes has a sale going on for $2 right now on EVERY book, no matter how long or short. Folks are calling it a firesale and maybe it is, but I urge you to not pay them a single dime of your hardearned money. I do not begrudge you readers who have already purchased my books any of your enjoyment. I thank you for your support and appreciate every one of you. You can expect to see me under honest and reputable publishers from now on. I'm over at Total-E-Bound if you need to find me.

Me and Cac are through.

You can also find out more about how bad it is over a Cac on Writer's Beware.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Winners

The Winners of the Be Honest Contest are Jan S., Pia Veleno, and Nemine Gavran! Congratulations to all!

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Be Honest Contest



Sage is taking an unofficial poll of what readers want to, well…read.
In order to be placed in the drawing for a free pdf copy of Broken, Sage asks that participants email her their top three favorite features in a story.
Examples of what she means are as follows:

~Gay for you storylines
~Best friends becoming more
~Shapeshifting/action stories
~Alpha hero coupled with a submissive hero
~Angst—obstacle-ridden stories

(Feel free to provide ideas not listed here. You are not restricted to my examples.)


NOTE: Please email all THREE answers in the body of your email to whistlercon at yahoo. com . That is whistlercon@yahoo.com.
Do not send answers to sagewhistler@gmail.com. All answers appearing in that inbox will not be entered into the drawing. Also, please do not send answers via Sage’s website contact page. Again, all answers sent in this way will not be entered into the drawing.

Winners will be announced (and personally contacted) September 15th. There will be a drawing of three.

Please, also include your first name or nickname and last initial in your email, as long as you agree to have it announced on the contest page in the event that you are one of the winners.

Contest deadline: 12:00pm September 15th Eastern,US time.

Friday, September 4, 2009

Excerpt From Broken




Coming September 14th to Total-E-Bound!

Warning: This story features intimacy between twins and gay sexual practices. It is not suitable for persons under 18 years of age, or those who might be easily offended.



Tristan was sitting at the bar shelling peanuts when Gabriel slipped onto the stool next to him.

“Howdy, pardner,” Gabriel rumbled in his ear, reaching over to snag Tristan’s beer. He took a sip. “Enjoying the night life?”

Obviously tipsy, Tristan giggled. “It’s past my bedtime.”

“You ready to go home?”

“Nope. Red head.” He held his hands out well past his chest. “Big boobs. Be back in th-thirty hours.”

Gabriel chuckled, pretty sure his brother was too damn drunk to know the difference between thirty minutes and thirty hours.

He tugged Tristan’s arm. “Come on. We’ll wait for her in my car.” And while they were at it, he’d get Tristan home and tucked into bed.

“’Kay.” Tristan waved sloppily at the bartender. “Bye, Keif.”

Keith smiled fondly and waved back. “Take care, Tristan.” He nodded at Gabriel. “Brogan driving?”

“Yeah.” He’d had only two and a half beers, but he wasn’t taking any chances, especially if he didn’t have to. Brogan was waiting outside with his jeep to take them both home. Luckily, the crowd in Orion knew to be on their best behaviour. Any confrontation with the members of Thrice Broken was an automatic ejection and revoking of club rights. He went pretty much unmolested in his own place.

Wrapping Tristan’s arm around his neck and his arm around his twin’s waist, Gabriel supported his brother’s weight as they moved through the crowd. Tristan wasn’t fall down drunk. In fact except for a stumble or two, he walked under his own power. It was just easier to get them both to the same destination at the same time. Or so Gabriel told himself as he traded the body-heated club air for the cool, fresh air outside.

Brogan didn’t get out to open the door. The fucker. Gabriel smiled to himself, not even bothering to ask. He knew what Brogan would say. “I’m not a fucking chauffeur, boss.” True. He’d fired D’angelo three months ago and had never gotten around to hiring a new one.

Gabriel got Tristan into the jeep with little trouble. It was when they were both seated that the problem arose. Either Tristan thought he was with the buxom red-head or he imagined Gabriel could be his pillow because he cuddled right up to his brother, squeezing his waist and burying his face in the side of Gabriel’s neck. Tristan huffed then sighed, settling down.

Gabriel’s heartbeat picked up an anxious rhythm. Tristan was too close for comfort and parts of him were starting to take notice.

Brogan glanced up at the rear-view mirror. “You okay, Gabe?”

“Huh? Yeah, fine,” Gabriel said, praying it was too dark in the interior for Brogan to see how ‘not fine’ he really was with Tristan curled around him. He debated whether to try and pry off Tristan and, finally, decided that at least removing his arm would be a good idea.

No sooner had he wrapped his hand around Tristan’s wrist than his brother became animated—well, at least, his lips did. “Red head. Big Boobs. She reminded me of Bekah. Hmm…bitch.”

Brogan snorted with laughter in the front seat.

Gabriel ignored him. Curious, he asked, “Who is Bekah?”

“Ex. She left me after I lost my beer.”

More laughter from Brogan.

Gabriel tried to slap Brogan in the back of the head, but his arm wouldn’t reach unless he shifted Tristan. Idiot.

“You mean money,” Gabriel corrected.

“Erm…no…mag-ma-ga-zeen. Playgirl. Lost it, and she found it.”

His heart skipped a beat in his chest. Inadvertently, his fingers dug into Tristan’s shoulder until his brother made a distressed sound. “Sorry. Listen to me, Tristan. Was it Playgirl or Playboy?” He asked the question as if his life depended on it. It probably did.

Tristan huffed against his neck. “Playgirl. No gays for Bekah.”

“Holy shit!” Brogan said from the front seat.

Holy shit was right.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Favorites of September 2009





Books
1. Creation's Control by Marie Harte
2.Tempestuous by Morgan Hawke
3. Blood Noir by Laurell K. Hamilton
4. Wedding Planner by G.A. Hauser

Movies
1. Last House on the Left
2. Inglourious Basterds
3. Sunshine Cleaning
4. Obessession

Music
1. I Put a Spell On You performed by Nina Simone
2. Naive performed by The Kooks
3. Daughters performed by John Mayer
4. Gravity performed by John Mayer

TV
1. Meerkat Manner
2. Big Cat Diaries
3. America's Best Dance Crew (ABDC)
4. Police Women of Broward County

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Favorites of August 2009


Movies
1. Caroline
2.The Soloist
3. No Country For Old Men
4. Inglourious Basterds (I'm foreshadowing)

Books
1. Vernon Can Read by Vernon Jordan
2. Blaze by Stephen King
3. Hemovore by Jordan Castillo Price
4. Obedience Training by Mya

Music
1. It's Not My Time performed by Three Doors Down
2. Mad World performed by Michael Andrews
3. Naive performed by the Kooks
4. The Stroke performed by Billy Squire


TV
1. Operation Repo
2. Wildest Police Chases
3. Big Cat Diaries
4. It's Me or the Dog

Saturday, July 25, 2009

At Last...


What? I know my background is a little retro hippie, but I'm not inclined to change it at the moment. It took me like two hours to find out how to make three columns in blogger and in the end I ended up copying and pasting a template so that's sort of cheating. O_O Anyway, I hope the yellow does not make your eyes bleed. I will be checking out different templates in the near future. In the meantime it might help to squint. Lol JK.

Peace!

Monday, July 13, 2009

July Favorites 2009





Books

1. Str8te Boys by Evangeline Anderson
2. The Gold Warrior by Clare London
3. The Twisted Brand by Clare London
4. Found by Sean Micheal

Movies

1. Valkyrie
2. Transformers: Rise of the Fallen
3. I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry
4. Eagle Eye

Music

1. Sleep-One Republic
2. Iko Iko-The Dixie Cups
3. They Won't Go When I Go-Stevie Wonder
4. Blowin' in the Wind-Stevie Wonder



TV
1. Monsters Inside Me
2. Mystery Diagnosis
3. Big Cat Diaries
4. Outrageous Moments Caught on Tape

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Finishing what I started...

Is terribly hard for me to do. Why? Lazy. Distracted. Flighty. Bored. I could write a list a mile long on why I find it hard to end stories. I'm not like this on anything else. Reading books I almost always finish, chores, jobs, projects, tasks. I finish what I start, but when I sit down to write a story for some reason I find it immensely hard to keep myself interested beyond two weeks. Oh, I'll keep coming back to the story, adding stuff on here and there. It might take me weeks, it might take me months...hell, it might take me years. Sometimes I question why I call myself an author. Like all authors, we are our own worse critics and I question myself. Am I good enough? Am I improving? Was the story I just put out a waste of time, both mine and the readers? Yes. Yes. And No--I'd like to think. I try and squash self-doubt, and I've tried several techniques to become motivated in a story I started. I think my biggest problem in this area is discipline. Quite frankly, I need more of it. My beta friend calls her sessions of writing grinding. I've tried to take a page out of her book and grind, and then I wrote myself into a corner.

I used the terms Muse and writer's block, but one author wrote in his interview that he doesn't believe in muses and that writer's block is just an excuse. I disagree with the first, on the basis that its just a term given to the creative 'spirit' if you will, inside us all. On the second, I have to agree. There probably is no such thing as writer's block. You can write at any time, but is it any good?

My reluctance to write sometimes comes from the fact that I'm a pantser. I have a total of one book planned out--each chapter, step by step, from beginning to end--and I grew bored with it and shelved it before I got to the halfway point. I'm not sure how writing works. I couldn't explain how I go from page three to ninety-three. I can't explain how I even know what my character will say next. It just...flows. It just springs to my mind and my fingers translate. Sometimes nothing springs to my mind, or on second thought I don't like what I've written and I need to take a step back to figure out how to get from point A to point B.

Sometimes I just lose interest. 95% of the time its because some idea has sprung to my mind and I think its better. I'm slowly learning to write out of sequence. By that I mean write scenes as they come to me. I couldn't tell you how many stories have stumped me with what happens next because I couldn't climb over a mole hill I'd made for myself. I used to have to write in order. After Cory wakes up he 'had' to eat breakfast before he went to the gym. If I didn't feel like writing the breakfast scene I couldn't get on with the gym scene. If I didn't feel like tackling sex between my MCs then I didn't get on with the action scene that happened after.

As you can imagine this bogged me down big time. I'm glad I'm breaking out of this self-induced mold. Hopefully, I will be a better, more productive writer for it. Staying interested is still a work in progress for me. I owe it to myself and my fans to finish what I started.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Deleted Scene

Here is a scene from a current WIP that I took out because the genre changed from historical to steampunk. This scene is for an audience of 18yrs or older and features explicit sex between two consenting ‘male’ adults (for those of you thinking it is Het) The WIP still maintains the same title, despite the big changes elsewhere. It’s called Fair Trade And its my first menage a trois. The following introduces the soon-to-be outlaw/bandits Zee and Braze.

The following picture is how I see Zee in my mind.Cowboy01

Guaranteed there are some errors in here, but don’t squint to find them or your face will get stuck like that. :D

Zee Calhoun leaned against the hewn log fence that separated the cattle from the open land. They’d just come back from a seven hour haul, rounding cattle up for the count. He was damned tired, sweaty and sore. He hadn’t eaten more than a piece of jerky and a stale biscuit for lunch so his stomach was sticking to his ribs, and the bruise he’d taken from an ornery sow was starting to kick up a fuss—letting the pain be known, but it was his habit to watch the sun touch the land each day as it sunk beyond the horizon.

Settling his hat on a post, Zee braced his elbow on a wooden slat and leaned over, taking some of the pressure off his spine, which was sore too from taking a beating in the saddle. He’d picked up a strand of grass somewhere along his ride during the day and now he twisted the long strand between forefinger and thumb, releasing the musky earthy scent of the blade of grass into the air.

A few pebbles crunched underfoot, warning him of the presence of someone else. Zee didn’t bother to turn around, instead popping the blade of grass in his mouth, he sucked on the bitter root. “I’ll be along in a minute, Braze.”

His friend said nothing. Braze drifted over to Zee’s right, bumping hips on purpose as he settled along the fence next to Zee. A finger curled in Zee’s back pocket, tugging playfully. “You sore.”

Zee shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “Yeah. Not too bad though.” He’d had worse. After a pause he added, “You shouldn’t. Not out here where anybody could see.”

Ignoring him, Braze shoved his entire hand into Zee’s back pocket, fingers curling to frame one hard buttock. Zee sucked in a breath, shifted, but didn’t make any move to dislodge Braze. “There’s an empty stall in the barn, Zee. Ain’t nobody in there but the horses. I just came outta there helping Roger out and he’s belly up by now in his own bunk. Everyone’s flat out tired, ain’t nobody gonna know.”

Despite being tired enough to drift off once his head hit a pillow, Zee was still young, and not immune to the suggestions his best friend was making. It had been a long time since he and Braze had managed a moment alone to take care of business. The job they had at the Westonia ranch was only temporary. Otis Cape was known for keeping a tight leash on his boys. He wasn’t fond of paying folks for entertaining themselves and he was as about as ornery as the sow that had butted Braze earlier. They’d been very careful in the past two months. Hell, in that time Zee and Braze had barely stolen a moment for a quick hand-job while making camp on the range.

Braze’s hand felt incredibly hot even though the denim of his jeans. And Zee’s cock reared inside his jeans, hot and aching, and pearling at the tip, eager for Braze’s callous-roughened fingers to wrap around it.

Braze had to know what effect he was having on Zee, how else could he have known enough to reach around with his free hand and cup the hard bulge between Zee’s legs. Zee groaned, pushing into that hot hand.

“Come on Zee, I’ll suck you off good.”

Zee spit out the blade of grass and nodded his head. “O si gwu.” Switching to his native tongue he agreed to come with Braze.

Grinning like the cat that had caught the canary, Braze tugged Zee along by his belt loops. Zee laughed, swatting Braze’s hands away and holding him at bay until he reached the relative safety of the barn’s big doors. No sooner had the couple disappeared into the barn’s shadow when Braze grabbed two handfuls of Zee’s shirt and pushed the more slender man up against a stall door. The horse occupying the stall behind Zee snorted and shuffled nosily but soon settled down.

The noise didn’t slow Braze up one bit. Like Zee, he knew there was no way the mare could bust loose from behind the big sturdy doors that were higher than the men were tall. Braze, the same height as Zee, didn’t have to search far for what he wanted. Leaning most of his weight to pin Zee against the stall door, Braze crushed their lips together. His tongue flicked over Zee’s lips, hot and agile, demanding entrance.

Zee moaned, body shivering as Braze’s hot tongue pushed into his mouth, exploring every inch with greedy swipes of his tongue. Pulling back a bit, Zee managed to say, “U sga no li.” Slow down.

“Tla.” No. Braze licked and nibbled at Zee’s chin, one big callused hand came up to cup the back of Zee’s neck. His thumb pushed under Zee’s chin urging him to tilt his head up. Braze blazed sucking kisses down his throat, pausing to lave his tongue along Zee’s Adam’s apple. “Hungry for you, Zee.”

Zee moaned, shaking for him. Pushing his hard cock into Braze’s equally hard bulge. His fingers bit into Braze’s broad shoulders, kneading the more muscular man with his long fingers. Braze’s hand refused to be still, plucking at buttons until Zee’s shirt parted, heated lips closed around a tiny brown nipple, sucking hard enough to make Zee arch and cry out. Braze’s hands were already on his jeans, working the zipper down enough for one big hand to push into the denim, wrap around Zee’s uncircumcised cock.

“Braze, yes, please.” Zee squirmed, pleaded. His aches and pains buried beneath a spike of adrenaline and a cloud of lust.

“Want to taste you. Miss this,” Braze murmured sinking down to his knees on the hard concrete, tugging his bronze prize from the confines of Zee’s jeans. Zee’s cock had barely seen daylight before it disappeared into the moist, tight heat of Braze’s mouth.

Zee’s fingers slid into the dark silk of Braze’s hair, his torso nearly curling over Braze’s bowed head as he struggled to keep his feet. He’d missed this too. Before coming to the Westonia ranch Braze had woke him up daily and put him to bed with a blowjob. The man loved nothing better than a hard cock to nurse. Zee liked the feel and power of a having a man’s cock in his mouth, but Braze was purely into it because it got him off.

There was no doubt his friend was making up for lost time. Zee wasn’t going to last long, not with Braze sucking at him like a wind storm. That wicked tongue flicking and teasing every spare inch of his shaft. Braze moans of appreciation mingled with his. Zee combed through Braze’s black hair, undoing his braid with shaky fingers. He was unable to quell the snap of his hips. The feel of the head of his cock bumping into the back of Braze’s throat drove him insane. “Yes,yes! Braze its good.” Zee whimpered. “Uhn Uhn.”

Braze had pity on his dick, drawing off of it long enough to bury his mouth against Zee’s balls. He toyed with them first, licking and sucking, not quite giving Zee the pressure he needed, until finally Zee had had enough. Fisting a handful of his hair, Zee pulled him in close. “Suck them, Braze. I want to feel your mouth on me. Make me come.”

This time it was Braze who whimpered. Zee’s eyes rolled with amazement at the shiver that passed through Braze. The man on his knees had just come in his pants. Braze opened up wide, sucking his balls into his hot mouth, punishing him with his tongue. Zee’s cock twitched, the reddened crown mingling with white pearls of precum.

Bucking his hips, Zee gasped out, “I’m coming!”

Braze planted those big hands on Zee’s thighs, pinning him once again as he lifted his head and swallowed Zee’s cock, taking him just in time to taste the first spurt of cum. Braze took all he had to give, and sucked for several moments after he’d come, tongue flicking over his slit to get every last drop.

(CASE YOUR WONDERING: The men are speaking Cherokee. Chose that tribe because its in my blood and the research would be more interesting. Hell of a time finding the right words. Good times.)

Heh, and don’t ask why they didn’t make it to the stall and just did their stuff barely inside the barn door. Stuff happens, Okay? :P

Friday, June 12, 2009

Because it must be done...



Enough is enough already. It's time to face up to the music. The fat lady has sung and she is currently choking on a Twinkie. It must be done. I've known it for years, and I'm doing something starting Monday. Why Monday? Because it gives me the entire week to get my azz in gear. Who starts weight-loss on a Friday? I'd fall right off my schedule if I did. So what am I talking about? I'm talking about the great big elephant in the room, the huge cloud hanging over my head, the monkey on my back. I'm talking about this extra weight I'm carrying. I'm only twenty-three and I'm introverted as all get out. A fun day for me would be sitting on my bottom reading great books or chatting with friends on the web. I've been overweight since I was fourteen or so. It hasn't caused me any problems,yet, which I think God for. I don't breathe heavy, I don't have sleep apnea, I can run faster than most skinny people, I don't have asthma or high blood pressure, I walk fast as hell, can run up stairs without being winded--I guess you can call me a 'functioning fat person'.

And by the way, isn't that a cruel word? A hurtful, confidence-crushing assault on the senses? If someone calls me fat(and that rarely has happened) my confidence level goes to zero in no time flat. I like to think I'm a very confident person, but I'm also very aware of what and who I am. I am fat, or plump, or overweight. Most of my weight is carried in my bum and my hips, which are very curvy. I know that more time than not its the 'truth' that hurts. Call a skinny person fat any day of the week and they'll laugh it off and call you crazy. Call a heavyset person fat and they'll get pissed. The truth hurts. I've always advised people that if they don't like something then change it, but I'm failing to do the same thing for myself.

I don't want to lose weight because people say I need to. Quite frankly, almost no one says I need to. They are very polite. Plus, obesity is so prominent in the U.S. almost everyone will be overweight at one time or another. So, there is no room to talk. I'm losing weight because my cousin took a picture of me while I wasn't looking. It was a picture of me walking away, and I looked like that lady that I said I'd never get as big as. I looked like that woman whose clothes couldn't hide the fact that she had a big belly and wide hips. I looked like that woman who was in danger of getting heart disease, high blood pressure and diabetes. I looked like that woman that didn't care enough to get in shape. I don't want to be that woman anymore.

High-blood pressure runs in my family. My grandfather has had two heart-attacks and two strokes. My great uncle, two great aunts, and a cousin all died of heart attacks. Yet, most of my people live long lives. My Gram and Gramp's on my father's side are in the late seventies. My great aunt in her late eighties and so on, but my grandmother still suffers complications from being overweight. The cartilage in her knees have been worn away from being too heavy. I don't want that for me. I don't want that for my children.

I know this will be a long and hard road. I know this as well as the next overweight person. I'm not in denial of who I am. I know being inactive is a large part of why I am where I am today. I know that my love of bread and potatoes, and fast food has done me in. I'm not the type of person to eat huge amounts, but its what I eat that has brought me here today. Besides that, I'm aware my metabolism is slow. I have to compensate for that. I have to change my lifestyle.

So here it is folks. Sage has got to do something 'before' the troubles begin. I'm not usually one to put my personal stuff out there for the world to see, but it was important to me to write this. I know I'm not the only one who struggles with weight issues. You don't have to look far here in the USA to see that you are not alone. I just wanted to share my story, perhaps it will touch something in someone who reads this. Perhaps it will be the spark that sets fire to that wick of determination. We don't have to be skinny, we don't even have to desire a model figure, but we can be better.

We can do better. Lose weight for yourself. I'm losing weight, personally, because it must to be done...

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Favorites of June 2009


Books
1. Ransom by Lee Rowan
2. Velvet Need by Sean Michaels
3.True Colors by Clare London
4.Turquoise by B.A. Tortuga

Movies
1. Uninvited
2. Underworld:Rise of the Lycans
3. Slumdog Millionaire
4. Zuthura (yeah, I like this movie)

Music
1. Mexican Blackbird "From Dusk til Dawn" Soundtrack
2. Goodbye Apathy sung by OneRepublic
3. Paper Planes sung by M.I.A.
4. I Should Have Been A Cowboy sung by Toby Keith

TV
1. Operation Repo
2. Big Cat Diaries
3. Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe
4. Meerkat Manor

Monday, June 8, 2009

Timberrrrrrr!

My Gram's tree got struck by lightning about a week and a half ago. A few days after that half the tree came tumbling down and crushed her fence. It was a mad dash to find someone to clear up the damage, not to mention costly as all get out. Thankfully, because the tree fell the insurance kicked in and picked up the cost. We all knew something needed to be done when the lightning hit, but insurance wouldn't cover it until it fell and we were quoted from 1.5k-3.5k in clean-up costs. I went over to the house this morning. I missed the larger tree being cut up into pieces but I took pictures of the man all the way up the pine (another tree they decided to cut down to be on the safe side).
The guy in the next picture was really, really high up there. His chainsaw, when not in use, was just dangling from a rope. You couldn't pay me to do this job.
The following picture is one of large branches just freshly cut. They lowered them down using the pully system so they just wouldn't fall from the sky like missiles.
In this next pic you can see the guy in the tree from the front of the house. I took this pic from the front. See how far he was up? Can you say heart-attack city? The guy who runs the business said this man had been in taller trees. >_< This is a picture of the ruined fence. The humongous tree that fell was cleaned up before I could get there and take a picture, but here you can see the missing portion. The guy in this picture is standing in the neighbor's yard. His yard is like a forest compared to Gram's now. Also, I was sorely disappointed that there weren't any studs working with their shirts off. :( Heh, there weren't any studs AT ALL.

The next pic is the big tree they had cut up before I got there. You can tell how wide it was. The piled up trunk was split in half by the time I took these photos.


Friday, June 5, 2009

A Steaming pile of... Punk!


I've decided that the western I've been working on 'only for a short while' will be steampunk. For those of you who don't know what steampunk is, I'll try and summarize it in as few words as possible. According to Wiki Steampunk is a sub-genre of fantasy and speculative fiction that came into prominence in the 1980s and early 1990s. The term denotes works set in an era or world where steam power is still widely used—usually the 19th century, and often Victorian era England—but with prominent elements of either science fiction or fantasy, such as fictional technological inventions like those found in the works of H. G. Wells and Jules Verne, or real technological developments like the computer occurring at an earlier date. Other examples of steampunk contain alternate history-style presentations of "the path not taken" of such technology as dirigibles, analog computers, or digital mechanical computers (such as Charles Babbage's Analytical Engine); these frequently are presented in an idealized light, or with a presumption of functionality. (borrowed directly from Wikipedia)

Anyway, my western/cowboy story is going to be a mix of old and new, and quite impossible inventions. This means I have to come up with some bots that don't exist, and also incorporate some things that do. I think it should be ten times better than a regular historical. Hey, who needs a carriage when you can taken a ride on an airship? Right?

Friday, May 15, 2009

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Survey Says


If you've been following my posts for at least a little while you know I have a wicked sense of humor. What's strange is that it doesn't really come across in my writing. At least I don't think it does. O_o So I took this survey, which I think is like ten times cooler than the regular author information dump. You are now about to peak into the inner workings of my brain. Not literally of course cuz that would just be squishy and gross. lol.

A
- Available: In what sense you perv?
- Age: A lady never tells that she is 23...dayum.
- Annoyance: smacking when eating food.
- Animal: Dog to bite the hell out of the person smacking when eating food.
B
- Beer: Di-scuss-der-ing
- Best Friend: Mom. No, seriously.
- Blind or Deaf: Deaf.
- Best weather: Fall. Not too hot or cold.
- Been in Love:NOPE
- Believe in Magic: See above
- Believe in Santa: See above twice.

C
- Candy:Anything with nuts...I mean uh snickers.
- Color: Blue
- Chocolate/Vanilla: Vanilla
- Chinese/Mexican Food: Chinese. Last Mexican I had sent me running for the border.
- Cake or pie: Both. Mmmm...
- Continent to visit: Asia
- Cheese: If its not moldy I can get it down

D
- Day or Night: Night
- Dancing in the rain: What the hell for?

E
- Eyes: Brown
- Everyone's got: a secret.
- Ever had a crush on a teacher: Sadly, yes.

F
- First thoughts waking up: where did my pillow go?
- Food: meat loaf (mom's tho)
- Greatest Fear: Not finding out what I'm here for.
- Goals: Be Happy!
- Gum: Trident
- Get along with your parents: Mom, yes.

H
- Hair Color: Brownish red.
- Height: 5'7''
- Happy: Nevah
- Holiday: No work and school day.
- How do you want to die: Tapdancing.

I
- Ice Cream: Chocolate chip cookie dough.
- Instrument: Play button.

J
- Jewelry: Will have ring as soon as I go to Walmart.
- Job: Counselor for the ornery.

K
- Kids: I'll get back to you on that, Bob.
- Kickboxing or karate: Gun and bullets?
- Keep a journal: Nah
L
- Love: Fam
- Laughed so hard you cried: Lewis Black for Prez 2016 after Obama reinstates

M
- Milk flavor: All flavors except spoiled.
- Movies: Troy, Man in the Iron Mask, No Country for Old Men, Hancock, Predator
- McD’s or BK: McCrackies

N
- Number: 7

O
- One wish: endless supply of stories I like to read.

P
- Pepsi/Coke: Both.
- Perfect Pizza: Plain cheese. Toppings for the birds.

Q
- Quail: Cheney ruined it for me.

R
- Reality T.V.: Over it already.
- Radio Station: Insert CD.

- Roll your tongue in a circle: I can. We did this experiment in a science class of mine, studying heredity.

S
- Song: Momma Told Me (Not to Come)--Three Dog Night
- Shoe size: 10 women 8.5 Men ( I only buy men sneakers)
- Salad Dressing: Ranch
- Sushi:I pity the FEWL that doesn't cook my damn fish.
- Shower: Like the newspaper: daily.
- Strawberries/Blueberries: Throw em together.

T
- Tattoos: One on my shoulder.
- Time for bed: Late
- Thunderstorms: What in the HELL happened to the cable?

U
- Unpredictable: the economy

V
- Vacation spot(s): Anywhere but here.

W
- Weakness: Books
- Which one of your friends acts the most like you: Nobody I'm a snowflake.
- Worst Weather: Come to CT

X
- X-Rays: On shoulder.

Y
-Year it is now: Year of the Ox. I'm an Ox.
-Yellow: Mountain dew is good.

Z
- Zoo animal: Hamsters.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Broken




This is my latest story accepted for publication by Total-E-Bound. Projected release is September 2009.


Identical twins Gabriel and Tristan have been apart for seven years, after one twin’s admission of being gay gets him kicked out of the house at seventeen. Leaving his brother behind was one of the hardest things Gabriel has ever had to do. Moving to L.A. to pursue his dreams as a rockstar, Gabriel experiences equal parts luck by starting the up and coming band Thrice Broken, and tragedy, when he falls into the fast and hard life of a drug addict.

Hundreds of miles away, Tristan, riddled with guilt for not having the courage to stand up for his brother, runs into financial ruin just at the peak of his success.

Driven by his desire to look after his younger brother, Gabriel cleans up his lifestyle and separates himself from the man who helped lead him astray. Having achieved his dreams of fame and financial stability, Gabriel calls his brother to L.A. to stay with him until he can get back on his feet.

Yet seven years of pain and regret lie between them, as well as the taboo desire for a love that shouldn’t be. Both brothers know this will be a test of strength and will. Not only is their love forbidden, but being discovered could ruin Gabriel’s public image forever. But their love for each other is only the tip of the iceberg. Tristan will be torn in his loyalty to his brother yet again when their father passes and their mother wants him to move back home. Meanwhile, the ex Gabriel thought he’d cut all ties with nearly a year ago is back, and he’s gunning for revenge. He wants to take out Gabriel’s heart, and it doesn’t take long to discover that Tristan is it.

Friday, May 8, 2009

Favorites of May 2009


Books
1. Bullriders by Lorne Rodman
2. Hajiri's Pet by Auburnimp and Michael Barnette
2. Private Dicks by Katie Allen
4.Turquoise by BA Tortuga

Movies
1. Monster House
2. Ratatouille
3. Xmen:Origins
4. Me, Myself, and Irene

TV
1. Meerkat Manor
2. Night
3. River Monsters
4. Jon and Kate Plus Eight

Music
1. Wavin' Flag performed by K'naan
2. Soobax performed by K'Naan
3. Dare You to Move performed by Switchfoot
4. Won't Stop performed by OneRepublic

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Divine Nine


Hamlet:
What a piece of work is a man, how noble in reason, how
infinite in faculties, in form and moving how express and
admirable, in action how like an angel, in apprehension how like
a god! the beauty of the world, the paragon of animals—and yet,
to me, what is this quintessence of dust? Man delights not me—
nor woman neither, though by your smiling you seem to say so.~Shakespeare~

Divine Nine

So what’s up with the quote at the beginning of this post. Nothing, I just thought it was nice. Loves me some Hamlet. No but seriously I’m here to talk about heroes. Not just any heroes, but the ones you find in romance. You see I’ve come up with a list of nine men you might find when cracking open a romance(come to think of it you might find these men in LIFE in general). Why not women? Well, maybe that will be my next post. I’m here to present nine different heroes. That’s right, I believe there are nine. If you think there are more, well tell me about it. They may come in different shapes, sizes, and colors but at the heart of the matter they make up the divine nine.

1. Mr. Wonderful
2. Mr. Badass
3. Mr. Confused
4. Mr. Shy
5. Mr. Caveman
6. Mr. Pincushion
7. Mr. Evol
8. Mr. TSTL
9. Mr. E

Mr. Wonderful

I will start with Mr. Wonderful. You may see him most often in the romance genre. He is perfect. He is handsome, available, muscled, educated, well-spoken. *insert sigh here* Oddly enough I find this guy the least bit interesting. Where are his flaws? Someone find a pimple on his ass or something. You know how his story will go. He’ll meet the girl, put on his charm, snag her, bag her, and nine months later she’s preggo. The End. Good riddance.

Occupational hazard: Lawyer, doctor, dentist, veterinarian, CEO

Mr. Badass

*insert evil grin here* I like him. *pats head* Mr. Badass is probably still handsome, intelligent, available, OR he might be banging his next door neighbor, the girl at Rite Mart, AND the ticket ripper at the local theater. He’s going to get into trouble. He’s going to curse. He’s going to growl and complain and roll his eyes and maybe hurt your feelings. He’ll be selfish (a little). He’s the do-things-his-way (which usually means breaking rules) hero. He’ll find the girl, sleep with her sister, apologize and put on some Berry White. Snag her. Bag her. And shove some birth control pills in her hand. Hey, he’s not done riding his Harley and he’ll be damned if he’s driving a minivan with a baby car seat just now. AnyHOO at the end of the day Mr.Badass does the right thing.

Occupational Hazard: Tattoo Artist, Construction Worker, Bartender, Repair Shop Owner, Professional Jewelry Thief





Mr. Confused

He doesn’t know whether he’s coming or going. He doesn’t know if he wants to be married or remain a bachelor. He can’t even remember where he left his briefcase this morning. Mr. Confused is probably handsome. (Aren’t they all?). He’s working a boring nine-to-five until he figures out what he wants to do with his life. Mr. Confused might even be that guy who dates women when he really is attracted to men. We see that a lot in gay fiction. He doesn’t want to be ostracized by the public but his heart just isn’t into the fairer sex. You will most likely have your heart wrenched for Mr. Confused. He goes through a lot of trials and tribulations before he ends up with Mr or Mrs. Right.

Occupational Hazard: Office assistant, Clerk, College Kid, Photographer





Mr. Shy

“He blushed. His cheeks flushed. He ducked his head. His hand trembled. He dropped his keys and then kicked them under the car. He was nervous. His stomach flip-flopped.” What are these, you ask? Well, these are all reading cues that let you know you are dealing with Mr. Shy. He’s a very popular hero to use in gay fiction. Hell, I like to use him myself. Most het fiction won’t use a guy like this because, well, Mr. Badass or Mr. Wonderful and even Mr. Cavemen are hotter when it comes to heating up ze bedroom. Mr. Shy might also be a geek, whipcord thin, maybe even effeminate or androgynous. He’ll get the girl. (by accident) or he’ll get the guy, because the guy will be pursuing him.

Occupational Hazard: Artist, Computer Techie, College Student, Engineer

matthias

Mr. Caveman

Meet Crug. He’s one step away from bopping you on the head and dragging you off to his cave. You love to hate this guy, and though you’re sure the heroine should shoot him in the leg, you still *swoon* when he tells her she’s his woman. Mr. Caveman is a combination of Mr. Wonderful (smart, handsome, successful, muscular) but he has all the characteristics of Mr. Badass. (Dominant, smug, bossy) He just gets away with it because he’s handsome. Mr. Crug…I mean, Mr. Caveman will have his happily ever after because his super sperm will get Mrs. Caveman pregnant and they’ll live happily ever after.

Occupational Hazard: Caveman, Soldier, Firefighter, CEO, Inherited Wealth (Secretive business)

Mr. Pincushion

Hey, can I have twenty bucks? Yeah, this guy will give you his last two cents. He’s the caretaker who inadvertently became everyone’s walking mat. He thinks everyone is his friend. He’s a handsome, likeable guy, OR he might just be average looking but intelligent or wealthy. You feel so bad for Mr. Pincushion but on the other hand you want to smack the hell out of him and tell him to grow a spine. Mr. Pin will eventually find his happily ever after. It could be with Mrs. Right or Mrs. Loving, OR a Dom named Jackal who beats the snot out of all the people taking advantage of him.

Occupational Hazard: Accountant, Doctor, Teacher, Musician, Inherited Wealth, Manager, Store Owner, Scientist

hunk_zwartwit









Mr. Evol

He’s not a hero! Course not. He’s not like Mr. Badass at all. He’ll steal lollipops from babies and push little old ladies to the back of the line. He’s handsome (You knew that was coming) with higher than average intelligence (how else do you think he avoided the police) Mr. Evol is selfish, greedy, stubborn, and seemingly unstoppable. He’s also VERY rare as a protagonist. Who’ll ever love this black-hearted scoundrel? Well, apparently, there is such a thing as redemption. There is always a loophole that wins Mr. Evol into the hearts of others. Take Robin Hood for example: He stole from the rich and gave to the poor. Hey, but he wasn’t evil you say to yourself, right? Right. That’s why I spelled it Evol, its short for Evolution. Yeah, I just made that up. Mr. Evol goes through an evolution in the book. He starts off being a selfish black-hearted scoundrel (I really love that phrase) but he ends up changing his ways. Maybe he gives the fat ruby he stole to an orphanage. It usually takes the stubborn will of a good-hearted heroine OR hero to help him change his ways. On the rare occasion Mr. Evol goes from good to bad. Either way this character is evolutionary and bound for a happy ending—or, some time in prison. *shrugs*

Occupational Hazard: Thief, Drug-Lord, Kingpin, Assassin, Pirate, Mercenary









Mr. TSTL (too stupid to live)

Burn this after reading. That’s what Mr. TSTL makes you want to do to your book. If he were a hero he’d be the one who showed up to rescue the woman in the burning building after she’d thrown a mattress out the window and rescued herself. If the answer is obvious Mr. TSTL will never comprehend it. He’s prone to misunderstandings. He whines. He does a lot of introspection and still comes up with a big fat nothing. Mr.TSTL pisses the heroine or hero off with his sheer stupidity and thoughtlessness. To be fair he isn’t a bad guy, just not the brightest light bulb in the bunch. By some freak of nature he gets a HFN or a HEA. You’ll probably care less though.

Occupational Hazard: In the interest of being diplomatic I won’t fill in an occupation here.





Mr. E

Holy Cow! I’m almost done. Mr. E is a ‘mystery’ you get it? J (I was tired when I wrote this. Don’t blame me) Anyway, Mr. E is not someone you’d expect. He’s not the typical hero. He might be overweight, handicapped, or a freaking shapeshifter. Mr. E is here to shake things up. He’ll never do what you expect of him. He’s a wicked combination of almost all the Misters I’ve mentioned so far. If Mr. E was a superhero he’d probably be the antihero turned hero, turned antihero again. Mr. E’s job is to be mysterious and standoffish. He’s the man you want to know more about. He’s the one the town calls a murderer when in reality his best friend died in a car accident. Contrary to popular belief, Mr. E did not strangle him to death. Mr. E might be a killer on the gossip mills but later you find out he’s a retired veterinarian that still takes in animals. Mr. E might also be a mountain man who’s gruff on the outside, but has a heart of gold. If Mr. E finds Mr. or Mrs. Right it isn’t because he went out looking. His other half will have to come to him.

Occupational Hazard: It’s a Mr. E. (You SO knew I was gonna say that.)